danielguntrip expresses his dislike for the kids of today using words and sarcasm.

2009-11-13T20:03:00.004Z

So the FINAL EVER issue of the London Lite was published today, and it wass entirely lacking in hot The Kids of Today action. I was hoping for some kind of grand finale, like the end of Combat Colin, but the world has been cruelly denied this.

So it looks like Neil Kerber gets the last laugh. Except not, because I guess that means his work was considered expendable when the crunch came. LOLLERCOASTER TO FULL SPEED!

The good news is that I have about three weeks worth of Lites waiting to be scanned, so most of The Final Days will be forever archived on the internets.

Still.

*sheds a single tear*

2009-10-22T16:11:00.002+01:00

CLASSIC KERBER

(thanks to @sebpatrick / @stairstokorea for alerting me to this, which seems to currently be flying around Twitterererer)

2008-06-21T19:39:00.001+01:00

You should probably be more concerned that your kids are HIDEOUSLY FUCKING DEFORMED.

2007-10-26T13:37:00.001+01:00

You've got to love the way the punchline is underlined in the last frame.
Twice.
Just in case you don't, y'know, "get it".

2007-10-25T19:34:00.001+01:00

I think we can all be happy with the knowledge that, in the event of a serious global financial meltdown, "useless, unfunny, shithead cartoonist" will be among the first jobs to be given the chop.

2007-10-22T19:23:00.001+01:00

AWOOGA! AWOOGA! SUPERFLUOUS, PUNCHLINE-NULLIFYING DIALOGUE ALERT!

Plus, if you read this crap with the frequency I do, you'd notice all these kids seem to do is walk.

2007-10-15T22:39:00.000+01:00

This one is.. staggeringly surreal. Are the two thought bubbles connected? If so, are these kids are unable to talk because they've evolved the desirable skill of telepathy? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

2007-10-13T12:04:00.001+01:00

Apparently, the countryside has hills made of butter.

2007-10-12T16:21:00.000+01:00

OH HOLY SHIT I'M BACK.

Oh, look, another example of a poor-quality joke executed really, really stinkin' badly. If he'd given her some cash at the end, it would have been slightly better. Because it would have made some Real World Sense. As it stands, Jayneesha now has a credit card that is of no use to her. GOOD WORK THERE KERBER, DO YOU ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND HOW CREDIT CARDS WORK?

Also, Jayneesha's father hasn't lost weight, he's simply gained a nice new tracksuit. Or 'trackie', as I believe the 'proles' are prone to say in their delightful patois.

2007-09-21T12:10:00.000+01:00

Jesus wept. So did I. So will you. Also, why do they have question marks floating over their heads?

I apologise for the irregular update schedule. It won't get much better, either, as I'm now off work for two weeks and thus have no access to a scanner. However, I've got a bit of a backlog, so you'll get a few more updates, and I'm going to keep getting the London Lite every day so any that are mind-bogglingly stupid will be saved and uploaded when I go back to work.

2007-09-17T21:43:00.000+01:00

Isn't this a bit... well... late 1980s? I distinctly remember my mother fretting over E numbers in about 1988.

2007-09-16T15:06:00.000+01:00

Aaaaaaaaand... it's back to normal.

Interesting factoid: Neil Kerber's official site doesn't mention The Kids Of Today at all. This is strange, because it mentions a lot of other regular commissions he has, and they're all about as funny as this bilge.

2007-09-13T23:57:00.000+01:00

HOLY SHIT THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY KINDA FUNNY

2007-09-10T18:52:00.000+01:00

I don't think mishearing things is a young person-specific thing.

2007-09-09T23:07:00.000+01:00

Oh oh oh oh OH NO HE DIDN'T. You may recognise the artwork for this strip. You'd be quite right to as well. What makes it worse is he seems to be trying to disguise this by redrawing the backgrounds and modifying the last panel slightly. ATTN NEIL KERBER: YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE.

Although I am glad to see that he's at least given Troy some pupils in this one.

Anyway... borstal? Borstal?? What year is this? I'm starting to think Neil Kerber may actually be a drooling, confused OAP, rather than just a man who writes appalling cartoons seemingly aimed at that demographic.

2007-09-08T12:40:00.000+01:00

I'm not sure it's a laughing matter that these Kids Of Today have been let down by our country's failing education system. Does Neil Kerber have any morals? Answers on a postcard.

2007-09-07T23:59:00.000+01:00

hahahahahahahahahahaNO.

Also, I contest that these characters are "kids": they look about 30. And one of them looks like a hippo. You know which one I mean.

2007-09-06T18:55:00.000+01:00

The Healthy Survey for England predicts that, by 2010, there will be 12x as many obese adults as children in the UK (link-me-do!). Think about that before you stuff another doughnut down your throat, Kerber.

2007-09-05T21:52:00.000+01:00

This was originally published on the 31st of August. A-level exam results were published on the 16th August.

Neil Kerber: finger on the pulse.

2007-09-04T19:47:00.000+01:00

Firstly, the punchline has a superfluous word that turns it from "barely funny" into "nonsensical". Secondly, this is crap.

2007-09-03T19:55:00.000+01:00

This is basically the same 'joke' as used in the strip published on the 23rd of August. I'M ON TO YOU, KERBER.

2007-09-02T08:54:00.000+01:00

Neil Kerber unleashes the full might of his scathing anger towards liberal PC brigade nanny state nonny-noos.

I also like how the newspaper changes size in every panel.

2007-09-01T12:08:00.000+01:00

Most obvious punchline ever? Anyway, Troy seems to have escaped from the limbo dimension he was stuck in a few days ago. Good for him!

Thanks to Theo again for saving this strip for me.

2007-08-31T07:15:00.000+01:00

A nice-and-early update as I'm out seeing Sonic Youth tonight. Mmmm, Sonic Youth. A big thanks to Theo for saving this strip for me!

I think Jayneesha is swearing because she's realised that her parents are so ugly that she stands little chance of any success in Real Life™.

2007-08-30T19:13:00.000+01:00

Aaaaaaaaaand... we're back. A slightly longer absence than planned, but you can blame the traditional post-Festival hackingcoughofdeath for that. Anyway, to business:

I think this paints a far worse picture of Troy's parents than it does of him. They seem to be expecting him to do two very different tasks at the exact same time. If he had devoted himself to tidying his room, his dinner would have gone cold, and that would have most likely only brought him more aggro. The poor kid can't win, so it's unsurprising when he puts in a half-arsed job at both.

But, really, I'm not surprised they're all so angry and shouty. I would be too if I lived in a blank, featureless limbo dimension.

2007-08-23T06:48:00.000+01:00

Hey kids - no updates for a few days as I'm off to the Reading festival. Unfortunately, as I'll be about a hundred miles away geographically and about a thousand miles away from giving a crap about anything in my normal life, I'll be missing a few issues of the London Lite. So if any kind souls out there want to save & scan The Kids Of Today from today's (Thursday) and tomorrow's (Friday) papers, I'll gladly make fun of them. Maybe I'll possibly even make some libelous comments about Neil Kerber. Who knows?

2007-08-22T18:27:00.000+01:00

This strip shows the callous and mean-spirited materialistic attitudes of the younger generations in a way that is so gosh-darn cutting that I thought, for a few short seconds, that I was reading Bret Easton Ellis' American Psycho.

Really.

2007-08-21T20:47:00.000+01:00

Here are a list of VERY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS raised by this strip:

1/ Who in the hell goes to 'summer camp' in the UK anyway? Shouldn't this more accurately be entitled The Kids Of Today Go To Summer Camp In Central Vermont In The 1980s And Have Hijinks, Starring Corey Feldman?

2/ Why is the artwork for panel 2 so incomplete? How did was it allowed to go to press looking like that? Why does Left Hand Kid Of Today not have pupils or eyebrows?

3/ Is this all just a subtle reference to the "pick a fight with a random stranger?" mission from Fight Club?

Alternatively, as I'm braindead and can't be bothered to 'analyse' this crap any further: OMG KIDS PICK FIGHTS LOLLLLLLLL!!!!111111one

Aside from this, I nearly didn't get a copy of today's London Lite (which will provide tomorrow's update, as I'm a day behind on this)! I had to work late, and on leaving and taking my usual walk from Camden Town to Trafalgar Square, I failed to locate a single distributor of this 'fine' publication. Which is strange, because usually I have to dodge about 30 of the bastards. I was starting to wonder if the damn thing had been published at all, until I spied a copy lying on the pavement outside Leicester Square tube station. So, y'know, if anyone saw someone look strangely gleeful whilst picking up a discarded newspaper from probably the filthiest section of pavement in central London at around 8pm this evening, don't be afraid, it was for the greater good of the universe, and - despite appearances - I'm not a tramp!

2007-08-20T19:47:00.000+01:00

Two options present themselves here. Either:

1) Right Hand Kid is an IT genius who has vast knowldge of PHP, MySQL, Javascript, CSS and Flash. Despite his tender age, he has years of experience in developing, marketing and managing Web 2.0-centric sites and a CV the length of your arm chock full of qualifications, experience and name-dropping references, and the biggest names in Internets Stuff are falling over themselves to employ him.

OR

2) The Kids Of Today author Neil Kerber fundamentally misunderstands how "The Information Superhighway" actually works, and what certain websites do.

Your choice!